The last thing the RC Church needs is another bleeding deacon!

In my most recent entry, I wondered aloud just why the Vadney even wanted to be a deacon in the Roman Catholic Church, given that it is so hostile to his dogma. Then someone wrote to me and pointed out that there are other definitions of the word deacon, especially as a verb.

Consider the following:

transitive verb

1. ☆ Informal to read (a verse) aloud before it is sung by the congregation: usually with off


2. ☆ Slang
   
   1. to pack (produce) so that only the best shows
   2. to deal with deceptively

["deacon." Webster's New World College Dictionary. 2009

• Your Dictionary. 24 May 2009
• <www.yourdictionary.com/deacon>]

Well, one can see some sense in the first definition quoted above. The practice seems to be a relic of the days when most people were illiterate. Vadney is trying to lead a chorus of condemnation of his (by definition right-thinking) detractors. Funny how nobody seems to be joining in. The trouble is that anyone stupid enough to take him seriously is unlikely to be able to read.

The other definitions also have some applicability. The Vadney does indeed try to package himself so that only the best shows...except that even his best is so shabby he has to dress it up, claiming degrees, professional memberships and affiliations he doesn’t have, for example. And he is too stupid to realize just how transparent his lies and posturing are. And that brings us to the last definition: “to deal with deceptively”. Well, I don’t think the Vadney needs any kind of ordination to do that: he’s been deaconing us all along!

But then there is the question of what sort of deacon the Vadney wants to be: did he perhaps have in mind becoming a “bleeding deacon”?

n. a person who believes himself indispensible [sic] to a group, esp. a person who becomes so over-involved in a group’s internal management, policies, or politics as to lose sight of its larger goals; (hence) a person with a negative, moralizing character, who acts like the sole source of wisdom.

["bleeding deacon." Double-tongued Dictionary

• Double-tongued Dictionary. 24 May 2009
• <http://www.doubletongued.org/index.php/dictionary/bleeding_deacon/>]

Hmmm... “a person with a negative, moralizing character, who acts like the sole source of wisdom”: does that sound like anyone we know?

All this leaves me with just one question:

Why doesn’t he just deacon off and bleed to death?